A Journey to Find My Journal: Rediscovering Self-Worth
In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget the simple joys that once fueled our spirits. I had not written in my personal journal for what felt like an eternity. It was as if the pages of my life had gathered dust, forgotten in the attic of my soul. Little did I know that a chance encounter would rekindle the flames of my creativity and self-worth.
One day, while rummaging through my old belongings, I stumbled upon an entry in my journal from years ago. The words flowed effortlessly, painting a picture of a younger me, full of optimism and excitement about the uncertain path ahead. Reading those words was like meeting a long-lost friend. It reminded me of a version of myself I had almost forgotten—an individual who embraced life's uncertainties with open arms.
For months, the idea of starting a new journal had lingered in my mind, like a dormant seed waiting for the right moment to sprout. This rediscovery of my past self became the catalyst I needed. Just a week later, I embarked on a trip to Hastings, a town renowned for its historical culture and enchanting tales of the Green Man.
Hastings, steeped in history, has always been one of my favorite places to visit. Its narrow, winding streets are like pathways to the past, where legends and folklore come to life. Amidst the old cobblestones and centuries-old buildings, Hastings has embraced the new age with open arms, boasting an array of quirky stores dedicated to mystical arts and culture.
During my wanderings through this captivating town, I stumbled upon a boutique shop that was a haven for journal enthusiasts like myself. It felt almost serendipitous, as if the universe had conspired to lead me there. Rows upon rows of journals beckoned, each one waiting to be filled with stories, dreams, and reflections.
I picked up a beautifully crafted journal, its cover a work of art in itself. But then, my heart sank as I glanced at the price tag. Doubt crept in, and I reluctantly placed it back on the shelf. I walked away from the shop, putting physical distance between me and the journal, but my thoughts couldn't stray far from it.
About a hundred yards down the road, I had a moment of clarity. I realized that this hesitation, this feeling of unworthiness, was a habit I had carried with me for a lifetime. It had held me back from so many things, big and small. In that moment, I understood that it wasn't about the cost of the journal; it was about recognizing my own worth.
You see this was an unconscious belief I had been holding about myself for along time and one which many of us hold & at various times it can take over all aspects of life. Recently I had developed an inability to write unless it was for work, a detest to cook unless it was for others, a lacking to fully show up for my yoga practice unless I was teaching others and all my free time seem to be spent working or taking care of others to some capcicity. The problem is this comes at a cost. The shadow of living in this way was the self sabotaging behaviours, being overly indulgent and disguising it as an act of service and feelings of resentment towards others who prioritise self care.
I turned back around and returned to the shop, determined to break free from this self-imposed limitation. I purchased the journal, and as I walked out with it in hand, I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders. For the first time in a long time, I had declared to myself that I was indeed worthy.
This small act of buying a journal set a powerful precedent. It planted a seed of self-worth that I intended to nurture and cultivate. Changing old habits takes time, and setbacks are inevitable, but through positive practices like journaling, I am gradually learning to recognize and address those aspects of myself that have held me back.
I hope my journey inspires you to seek out your own journal. Embrace the act of journaling as a way to discover your self-worth, to reflect on your life's journey, and to set free any limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
Remember, you are worthy of every dream, every adventure, and every beautiful journal that crosses your path. This is your story, and it's worth telling.
