Why Am I Blocked?
This week, my classes have been a little slower than usual, and there’s a reason for this.
Sometimes I feel completely blocked; it's like hitting a brick wall and I beat myself up about having no energy to get things done. Even the most basic tasks can feel like climbing Mount Everest. Before I found yoga, I would beat myself up about this and wonder why it would happen. I remember the first time I was in floods of tears during my savasana after my yoga practice, washing away the emotional barriers I had built up. Some of these barriers were defence mechanisms I developed in childhood.
Many of us actively hide our emotions from other people and feel this is acceptable, but are we also aware that we hide this from ourselves too? We become experts at putting on a brave face, masking our true feelings behind a facade. But beneath the surface, these emotions are simmering, just waiting for an opportunity to break free. Overtime, this dissociation from our feelings becomes so much that we forget what it means to truly feel, leaving us to merely exist in our own lives.
Through our practice of yoga, we are constantly invited to feel what’s going on with the body, mind, and breath. Awareness is the first stage of healing. By recognizing the ways in which we suppress our emotions, from here we can begin to ditch old habits and create lasting changes that empower us and also recognize exactly who we are.
Yoga and meditation are like mirrors reflecting our own inner world back to us. They challenge us to sit with whatever comes up, allowing us to peel back layers of armor we’ve built up around ourselves, exposing the raw, vulnerable truth. In meditation and slower yoga practices, we're encouraged to observe our thoughts and feelings without getting tangled up in them. During a yoga practice, we're reminded to breathe deeply and mindfully, activating our parasympathetic system, allowing us to feel safe and release tension and emotions, leading to unexpected tears, anger, or even laughter on the mat. This can be surprising at first, but it's all part of the process of healing and self-discovery.
When I feel stuck, I ask myself, what am I suppressing? What has happened that creates this feeling? What am I afraid of facing? What am I avoiding?
I have learned that there’s always a reason. It's not always easy to uncover, and often I have to venture into uncomfortable territory, but there’s always, always a reason. Each time I discover something new about myself, I feel more at home in my own skin.
So I ask you, what do you do when you're blocked? What are your habits of avoidance and dissociation? Next time you find yourself blocked, try taking time to slow down and pause and truly observing the underlying story at play. Peel back the protective layers and find your way back to your authentic self.