Journey Within: Finding Stillness Amidst the Chaos
Usually when I write these days I have a general idea of what I want to talk about and go from here. But this isn’t how I’ve always done it. I used to simply put pen to paper and see what happens and having got to the end of the month with no specific idea of what to write I’ve reverted to my old ways of doing things and here’s what happened.
I didn’t intend to come here today, during my in between class lunch break I intended to go home and get my news letter written, except on leaving the studio I began walking in the opposite direction suddenly distracted by ideas of sitting in busy park in sunshine trying to be disciplined turning on my feet heading to the car to go home I found my self driving to bushy park anyway in my head I create a whole host of reasons not to go home, I’m not going to have time by the time I get to the bakery to buy bread get home to make lunch, eat it and then sit down to write it will be time to head back. Making peace with this on my way over, once I arrived here yet again berating my self for being here when I should have gone home to work, and then again for spending money on lunch out when I supposed to be being sensible and eating more home lunches. Then again because it’s so noisy around me and I could have had more peace at home and it would be easy to write there, despite this when I do sit down I instantly pull out my notebook and start writing, I write the thoughts in my head this constant back and fourth about whether I should be there or not, then a verse from a book i read recently called silence pops into my head about being able to find peace even in the business of everyday life. Peace is quietness of the mind space between the incessant thinking and so I remember a quiet space in the woodland garden I spent a lot of time there last summer writing in my journal and so I headed there but of course once again that conversation in my head about I didn’t have enough time before my next class and walking there would only waste more time and then a verse from one of my favourite books A New Earth by Elkhart Tolle came to me "this bloody tyrant time. How much of our lives is controlled by time and yet one day time is going to kill us." Such a bizarre concept. So I press forward with my walk. The whole walk I felt the fluctuation of the mind going back and forth with thoughts. Near the gates to the garden I knew that feeling was coming and once I opened the gates I was not at all surprised to feel it, I had felt it many times before often here specifically but on other occasions too. That sudden engulfing sense of peace I have labled it the feeling “I’m home feeling” as that’s the closest I can get to describing it with words. And as if by magic the fluctuations of the mind had ceased and was replaced by a sudden knowing of this is where I was suppose to be. I was then reminded by another quote I had seen, I cannot name the author sadly and I likely acquired it from social media some where. “Find your happy place and visit it often” I haven’t felt the urge to write in a long time. Almost as if it had been in hibernation for the winter. I’m fortunate that writing continues to be a hobby for me and so I only write when I get the urge and despite having sat down wanting to write many times over the last few months nothing happened. Yet today I sat for a solid hour and wrote and wanted to do more if it wasn’t for this "bloody tyrant time"
We are all trying to escape. Looking for escapism whenever we can. Social media is the most commonly scrutinised for time stealing, an inssesant need for space from the mind, seems to be the perfect quick fix a minute or so scrolling through the phone. It's been 7 years since I left research in this field and still today people seem unaware of the dangers. Whilst studying I learnt about the dangers of screens for young children, it's ability to cause ADHD neurosisis and so vowed to control screen time for my children and myself I left social media accounts for over 3 years and only returned for work purposes to find things had gone wild. I was well aware of the grip of screen time the world seemed to be under some kind of self imposes hypnotic state some how, but why?
The reason is simple, we want to stop the inssesant stream of thoughts in our mind. Sadly and scarily this is the biggest mental health crisis of our time. We can't stop the mind. What does this have to do with yoga? Is that what your thinking? Hahaha well yoga is one of the ways we check out of the mind and into the present moment. During our practice we fully immerse ourselves in our practice and unlike other physical excersises we are frequently encouraged to become still and simply aware of the breath and any sensations arising, as when you are fully aware of the breath and the arising physical sensations the mind cannot think hense a halt of thought patterns completly. Frequent encounters of space from thinking brings with it many many benifits. Often a practice can leave you feeling lighter like the thing your were over anxious and concerned about prior to practice no longer seem so heavy or to even matter at all in some cases. Yoga practice can be difficult initially in the beginning the stillness can be hugely uncomfortable, and to some even unbearable, but it will never have been with out merit. As these days even just a few seconds between thoughts where we anticipate what's coming next can be enough for you to shift perspectives, to maybe begin to see things in a new light. Sadly this can come at a cost if we're not yet ready/willing to do the work. If you find the stillness of yoga challenging or have created some mind made judgements about yoga not being for you then your task is to do it more. What is it that's so uncomfortable about being still? Why do we have the inssesant need to always be doing things? In some slightly more meditative practices such as meditation or even yin & some restorative practices where you are encouraged to remain still and silent for lenghted periods of time here is when you begin to peel apart different habits of the mind. You might find yourself having a mental argument with your spouse and notice your hunching your shoulders, when the teachers kindly reminds you to let the shoulders relax the argument in your head also ceases, you may find a tightness in your hips is preventing you from being able to relax in a pose, and when a teacher reminds you to let go of judgements of good and bad and simply experience the pose the tightness in the hips begins to release and the pose no longer feels so challenging. The truth is the reason for our indecent scrolling or looking for holidays or new homes (my lastest escapism habits) is due to a genuine need to escape the mind from time to time, it's just that these activities don't actually allow you to do this and instead put you under some kind of hypotonic trance like state when your highly susceptible to collective views and ideals and not your own. The real cure for this is to pause. Slow down, and tune in. Without intention this post has become a huge advert for yoga and yes in fairness I do have an genuine belief that yoga is a great tool for quieting the mind but there are certainly other ways. Being in nature, the stillness of nature allows us to connect to the stillness within which is why so many people are drawn to take photos of nature thinking that some how taking a photo of it will capture the very essence of it. But simply being around nature works wonders for quieting the mind. In actual fact studies have proven being in nature increase levels of seratonin. Other things like creative outlets, such as singing writing, drawing, painting, sewing and many other things. Any thing you do with full awareness can stop the mental chatter. Mindfulness it's self is the art of doing one thing. In my deeper dive into social media I noticed that many people are fascinated with people doing simple tasks hence my resent post of me doing the washing. In truth I my self was drawn into people making cups of tea and walking around their garden. We are all craving simplicity. We seemed to have created a world so complicated we can't stand to be in it. So instead we're in our minds and in an attempt to escape the mind we make our life more complicated adding more to the to do list, more responsibility, more things to buy, more things to aspire to, more relationships and the list goes on and on. Do one thing at a Time, and while doing it put your whole Soul into it to the exclusion of all else. Swami Vivekananda ·
I am not exempt from these habits even watching little TV and limited screen time I'm still guilty of engaging in various forms of escapism usually fretting about another project either home or work related or looking for the next holiday. Having spent more time with screens and social media specifically recently, I have a few mindfulness excersise suggestions for you.
Be utterly curious about what draws you in? Do I really enjoy looking at this, try and get beyond the mind here become aware of any physical sensations you feel and emotions arising. Be completely present with what your looking at. What need is this fulfilling? What core value am I connecting to here.
The other excersise that can be helpful is next time you reach for your phone to scroll, instead take 3 councious breaths. This practice brings you to the present moment and out of the mind interrupting this constant stream of thoughts, after this see if the compulsion to scroll is still there or if there is any shift in your awareness.
General screen advice you may find helpful.
Turn notifications off.
Almost every app on your phone has notifications now, and it's simply not nessesary not to mention its ability to completely defect your attention span.
I myself have no notifications bar phones calls and texts.
Everything else I check when I want to not when my phone demands it. Now this may not be practical for all of you it's just with the nature of my business and my family well aware of my lack of time spent with my phone if people need to get hold of me they can but eveything else can wait.
Social media can hold some little gems of inspirations and so if it lights you up follow it pay it councious attention. Avoid things that lead you to critise yourself or worse than this posts you seem to gaze at with little to no emotion as this is when your most susceptible to advertising and it goes straight to your uncouncious material and you can begin to adopt beliefs with out even having a councious say in the matter. Remember socials will show you more of what you gaze at not what you follow so be mindful of where you spend your attention, your attention is by far your most precious resource and everyone is trying to get it. To conclude this month's post one of my favourite quotes of all time "you are not your abilities, you are your choices" Harry Potter Dumbledore.
Namaste Terasa❤️
